Snow Sculpture

Beauty and Art are not mutually exclusive – as are most things that are subjective of course.

Despite the filling of my life with our wonderful new son Alex, and the development of our first into a young batshitcrazy-toddler, I have found a certain creative void has formed within me.

I can say, honestly, that the muse does hit me – repeatedly, in fact – over the head with ideas and concepts that are there, just a moment from fully grasping, but I am utterly unable to either implement, or write it down in time before it escapes.

2under2 is my “campaign” name for having these two lovely kids in our lives, but it has become more than full time. It’s compromised my worklife, unable to stay late, and never able to facilitate a timely departure in the morning I am just squeezing the bare minimum of efforts to my employer: not quite what you want written for your performance review.

I’ve also struggled with taking the time to take the photos I want to take… largely including people, and some form of lighting setup for experimentation to better implement at Weddings this year. But it’s just not there.

Yes, folks will say “Make the time!” but seriously, would we be all this tired if the “making” of time were as easy as putting it on a production line in China for some 11-year olds to off put into a shipping container? We are only given the time that we have: no more.

This all said I will FIND the time. The kids are out of the hospital. Alex is sleeping more, which means Mel is sleeping more, which means I don’t have to support her physically and emotionally quite as much. Quinn is, well, trouble, but he’s almost 2 and being a bit of a dick, I assume, is part of the male learning process. I’m going to guess there’s some fusion to be found in all this, something I can’t see, just like the inspiration that’s been hitting me and fading too fast to follow…

Things, right now, feel ugly – I know Mel feels ugly – but there’s beauty in it.

My sons are beautiful.

Alex sleeps, curled in a ball on my stomach right now as I type this, coughing slightly, then he drifts back to his slumber. Maybe all that inspiration I’ve been having is transferring to him, helping HIM develop, giving him an early creative start… soon he won’t need as much of it and I’ll be able to have it back in time to really pull off some great photography.

Posted on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 10:05 pm. Filed under: Uncategorized RSS 2.0 feed.